Hurumph

Mother thinks she's quite clever. She posted her to her own blog horrid lies about ME!

I am not very happy with Mother anyway, and I WILL leave her a nice present when she's not looking. Katherine, Zorra, and mother are going to a flyball tournament and I am not going. I am so distraught. Mother says I need to stay home and take care of Auntie and go to work.

HURMPH. THAT does NOT sound like a GOOD TIME MOTHER. I shall bite you when you return on Sunday. Until then, however, I will be the best boy possible, so that when you think of me, you will think of fond memories while I plan my revenge.

Christmas time, so many things.. so little time

Hello friends....

I slipped mother an anti-stress pill in her caffeine laden drink and it appears that it has temporarily knocked her out. So, the girls and I are taking this opprotunity to blog.

We have been so busy working at the store, making sure mother works at her real job, attending agility and rally classes, attending agility trials, barking, sleeping, playing, and traveling that we don't know if we are coming or going!

We had a bark-taq-u-lar Christmas, and we hope that everyone celebrating their holidays did too. Santa Paws was quite generous with us, even though some of us which won't be named (Katherine) were on the naughty list. I, of course, was a perfect boy all year and had no guilty conscious regarding my actions.

The weekend before Christmas we had an agility trial, and we all did marvelously well. Katherine and Zorra got many qualifying runs. I got one, myself. Obviously, the judge did not agree with some of my choices during the course and did not allow me to finish. Pish Posh, I say. I can always plot a better course than any mere human!

In fact, at one point, I thought that Mother and I were racing to the end of the tunnel. I ran into my end to speed along, but was SHOCKED to see her legs at the other end blocking my way. As soon as I stuck my nose out of the tunnel, she swooped me up, saying something about the course did not allow endless tunneling. I only took it 4 times! I would have taken it more if she had not so unceremoniously grabbed me! I, for one, was quite taken aback by mother's lack of foresight!

We have another trial over New Years Eve and Day. One of our New Year's resolutions is to keep up with our blogging We got quite far behind over the past few months. Thanks for sticking in there with us. You are all quite wonderful pals!

Hurrah!!

Hurray! My mother is finally home from her trip to Maui. I only had time to take a quick photo of myself, but AUNTIE tried get in the shot with me... ignore her.

Auntie and I have had our difference during Mother's absence. Auntie was rather rude the other day and attempted to make me go outside ALONE to do my business. Well, I had just about enough of her nonsensical rules, so I decided to have some fun.

When she finally said I could come in, I started limping and holding my paw up in the air. Auntie grew concerned and kept searching for the reason for my injury. Of course, there was nothing wrong, but I managed one single tear to roll out of my eye. With that, Auntie immediately called Mother. I was positive that this escapade would bring Mother home ASAP. I heard Auntie tell Mother that I was injured, but she couldn't find what was wrong. My paw wasn't bleeding (I neglected to add the appropriate ketchup stain to my fur), and that I was holding it up in the air.

Then, I heard Auntie say "You must talk to him." And... MOTHER was on the phone with me. My plan worked!! Mother said she was returning home the NEXT day. Hurray!! Of course, I immediately told Katherine and Zorra the wonderful news. We all were excited!

And, true to her word, Mother DID return the next day. Although, all she wants to do is sleep. Something about jet lag??

Shakey Regime

Hi Gang,

Auntie's regime is starting to shake. I predict that I will have complete control shortly. Auntie has kept us from the computer with internet access, but I was able to break into one while she was sleeping.

Of course, we wrote to mother while she is still on VACATION. She has been gone forever....

Hi Momy,
I hop u r havin fun in Meowie. things are good here. Auntys regeeme still holds, but Samy keeps workin on his plan.
Luv,
Zorra
-----
Hi Mom!
things are GREAT! Of course, they would be greater if you were here, but we get to go to flyball tomorrow!!! isnt that GREAT?!?!?! Auntie thought that I was crying yesterday, but it turned out there was an eyelash n my eye! Auntie got it out. Isn't that GREAT?!?!
Have GREAT fun!
Katie
-----
Mother,
I've been thinking....
and thinking.....
and thinking...
Sam
---------

Tonight, we celebrated our friend Deeva's barkday. Auntie and Auntie Debbie took us out for ice cream. Ah, it was wonderful. I will try to hack into Auntie's phone for the photos.

Unfortunately, ice cream and custard are one of Zorra's favorite treats. She is like a crack addict when she gets any. Her eyes become very, very wide and it is all she can think about! She is still muttering about more as we speak!

It is only a matter of a day or 2 until Auntie will crumble!!

Quick Shout Out

Hi everydog...

Just a quick shout out to our pals. We think our mother will actually let us view our pals' blogs again, since her work has lessened. So, have no fear, we will soon be conversing on everydog's blogs again.

Blue told our mother about a new photo meme. (They are MAD about posting photos. They do it all the time). They now do photo memes 4 times a week. When does that leave time for us???

At any rate, you dogs might like this as well. It is called Camera Critters and it happens every Sunday. Go here to view. Our mother put some rather unflattering portraits of us on her blog. We are not happy about those photos and will plot on how to embarrass her later.

Those raccoons on the host blog remind me of Mr. Rat!! I want to definitely meet them. Katherine said she would go, as well. She really wants to meet them too.

Until next time, my friends...

Sam

Oh, she has done it now!

Sometimes, I cannot believe the length my mother will go to save a few dollars, or her back. Never mind it might humiliate, me, her only WFT extrodinaire!

Mother seems a bit preoccupied with my mudfur. I had it caked quite nicely on myself. She had sent veiled threats for several days, but I thought all this silly talk of a bath would blow away like the wind.

On Mondays, Katherine, Calvin, and I all attend agility class. Auntie was riding with us for a change. We normally take Calvin with us so Auntie doesn't have to drive home to pick him up before class. When we arrived at the normal place we turn to go to our classes, Mother went straight instead.

Well, we were ALL certain that Mother had flipped her lid and had suddenly forgotten how to get to agility class. We all knew this day was coming, and Katherine wasn't peering over Mother's shoulder as she normally does, so I was blaming Katherine for getting lax on the job.

We turned a block later. And, ended up here:



This so-called Pet Wash was located in a CARWASH. Can you believe that my Mother took me to a carwash for a BATH. I was just livid. How could any dog of my stature be so humiliated by being bathed in a CARWASH. We all know I am like a Ferrari, but I deserve go to the SPAW, to be catered to. NOT to go to a self-serve car/pet wash.



My mother grabs me out of my seat and is saying something regarding "Oh, it looks quite respectable, Sam. Don't be such a whiner! Look there's a nice tub, a ramp, etc.

I was NOT convinced and when she plopped me in the tub and attached the leash to my collar, I looked around this "establishment." OMD. What is that DIAL?!!



I hope it doesn't say HOT WAX. I certainly intend to keep all my fur!!! Disinfectant? What? De-SKUNK? What is she going to do to me??!!



OH, I am totally humiliated, and can only hope that none of my dog pals can see me here at the car/dog wash.

I do have to say that the water was warm. Not too hot, and not too cold. It did come from the sprayer in a nice, gentle fashion. But, still. Where is my favorite stylist? Where are the treats???



After SHE had finished scrubbing me raw and spraying me off with the misty hose, my mother blankly looks around and says.. Oh Sammie, I forgot your towel.

WHAT? Will my turmoil never end? She switches the dial over to DRY and attempts to dry me off with a hose that has air coming out of it. OH NO, I say and I start bounding around, trying to get away from it. Unfortunately, I am still tethered to the tub and cannot move. So, I did the one thing that would make HER stop it. I started shaking.

That did it, Mother finally relented and turned off the stupid dryer and brought an end to my suffering. I ended up wrapped up in Auntie's coat, since it was still cold here for a spoiled, wet dog. Thanks goodness for Auntie, is all I have to say.

Various ponderings for today

The time has finally come when I, too, shall compete again in agility. Mother and I have been practicing quite a bit, but I am still not sure the daft woman understands that I shall pick the course, and not some feeble minded human. We have a trial this weekend. We are all participating and our friends are questioning Mother's sanity for running with all three of us.

I do have to say that my favorite obstacle (as they say in the agility world) is the A frame. I LOVE it. I love to climb up and down it. But, I must tell you the absolute special part of it, is when I can look down on my mother from the apex! You can really see her turn the brightest shade of red, especially when it is the 4th or 5th time I have climbed it in a row! BOL.



Zorra has finally mastered what she refers to as her arch nemesis the ..... TEETER TOTTER. Although she is not yet as quick as I am, she has managed not to stand in the middle and be frightened to move. So, hurrah for my sister. I, on the other hand, run completely to the end as quickly as I can. I like the feel of falling through space and the loud BANG at the end.



Katherine was at an agility trial with Mother last Sunday. I still question my mother's sanity for not taking ME. Katherine really didn't want to do agility on Sunday and she told me that Mother was in a tizzy as to why Katherine didn't want to participate. Katherine told me that it was just because. Always leave Mom guessing, is her motto. Mother was all ready to just pack it up and go home before the last run, but decided since the money was already paid, that she and Katherine should just give it a go. Well, Katherine decided that she would try to complete the course this time, and bam.. she got 2nd place. Again, Katherine's motto is always leave Mom guessing.



Now, we are considering Rally-O classes. It is a cross between Obedience and agility. We may do that. It sounds like a splendid time.

Of course, Mother says if I leave any more stains in the house, that I'll never get to go anywhere again. Oh, pish posh, I say. If she would take me everywhere she goes, we wouldn't have this problem, would we Mother.

Speaking of which, I am watching Mother now as she is buzzing around the house. It appears that she is getting ready to leave and she has my leash. Yippeeee.. but.. wait... she has a towel... and shampoo... oh no...... HELP

'Tis not to be

Oh, friends...

February 29th came and went... Even though I saw Maizee on that day, she did not ask me to marry her. Sigh... Mother said that it happens sometimes, that a girl may just not see how truly wonderful I am. She also said that maybe Maizee doesn't want to settle down at the moment. Oh, all right, Mother. I shall go on.

Unfortunately, I will have to see her this weekend at the CPE agility trial. I will perform to the best of my abilities so she was get a twinge of guilt when she sees my athleticism!

I was depressed for a whole 2 minutes. But, I started flirting again with all the girls on Saturday! You can't keep a good dog down!!

Water Torture!!! Call 9-1-1!!

After a rousing afternoon of digging for every rodent and/or finding numerous treasures in the backyard, my mother bade me to come in. She said we were going to the pet shop. OH JOY! Perhaps I can persuade her to purchase a new toy. Better yet, Katherine and Zorra were NOT going with us. Hurrah!!

Oh, I had visions of new balls and tug toys, perhaps some completely NEW chew toy that I had not yet become acquainted with. I was shivering with anticipation when we pulled up to the store.

Mother walked briskly up to the cashier, and I heard the words come out of her mouth, but it was as if they were in slow motion.. ... D - 0 - G W-A S H please.

NOOOOO.

The next thing I realized, I was in the washtub. Perhaps if I look cute and smile, she will be so striken with remorse over what she is planning to do that she will let me down... I am smiling, Mother. See??



Oh dear, she doesn't seem to get my point. I will just try to escape on my own. Get out of the way woman!! I am making a break for it. DRAT that leash holding me here.




I have worked up my best pitiful look. Oh Mother, how could you torture me so? What did I do to deserve this??!! Katherine put you up to this, didn't she? Or, Auntie. Is she still upset over that unfortunate pants pocket incident?? I'm so very sorry.



Oh great, now she's scrubbing where I had stashed extra mud to ensure my fur retained that wiry texture that WFT are known for. Just great.. I will have to give myself another treatment later. All that hard work......




MOTHER!! YOU GOT SOAP IN MY EYES!!!!! Oh, this has turned into sheer torture. I obviously must assist myself, since she is so stooooopid as to see there is SOAP IN MY EYES.



I will kill you in your sleep. That is what I am thinking now, but yet, Mother, you laugh?



Ahhhhhh, a nice towel. I love the towel. That means our time here is coming to a close.



Here is my impersonation of a prize fighter. I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.



Oh Mother, I am sorry for those dreadful things I said. You are right, I do feel much better.. Now, where's my ###$$# treat??!!

Rather Uneventful day

I am blogging again because I am still mad at Mother, as she has ignored us again today. She has been cooking all day for no apparent reason but to stuff her own face. It is almost as IF she were trying to make us very mad.

But, she did take us for a a nice walk this morning. We were walking through the field behind our house. (Mother took some exercise for a change and I guess she feels like she can eat now.)



We had a rather long walk, and it was quite fun. We kept playing mind games with Mother, as you can see. We would all pretend we were looking at something and when Mother would notice there was really nothing there, even though we were intent on something in the distance. Oh, how we love to trick her.

While she was cooking, we confiscated her phone and found a few photos on it that we had not seen before. HMMMMM....

Here is a picture of Peyton Manning in a Santa hat? What is up with that? Peyton looks sort of plastic. Also, what is up with that beard! Peyton, buddy, shave that beard before the playoffs, dude. Better be sharp, or I'll have to come and horseshoe ya.



Even though Mother was gone for quite some time on Thursday, we do NOT think she had time to go visit Jackson nor do we think this is our pal Blue's Scarlett (we are going on memory here, but we think that was her car's name). I mean, we are in the middle of Indiana here. Where did THIS car come from?



Perhaps, we will get to go on one of her adventures tomorrow!

Total Disregard

I must let you know how irritated that I am with my mother. On Thursday, she left us for the ENTIRE day. She left early in the morning, and did not return until very, very late. She left our Auntie in charge (hurumph to that).


At any rate, I am not a fan of Mother leaving the house at ALL, without us. First, how do we know that she won't get lost. She's not the brightest bulb in the pack, shall we say. We were worried sick over her absence. And, due to the stress of her being away and to show her how much I appreciated it, I left her a nice "surprise" right where she would see it. I shan't go into what the "surprise" was, but it was rather smelly. BOL. That got a rise out of the old girl when she got home.

Upon inspection, we deduced that she had been in the presence of ANOTHER DOG in her travels!! Upon further inspection, we sniffed that he was a wired haired daschund. Sniff, sniff... whose name was Bosco. Sniff, sniff, snort, who she thought was extremely cute!! WE thought she was only going to be gone a short time to visit her old college roomate who was in town for only a few days. She told us NOTHING of meeting another DOG. Again, Hurmph.

She had also been to a variety of locations, a restaurant, someone's home, and a bar listening to a band. It is amazing what Katherine, Zorra, and I can sniff out, but we sniffed our mother for quite a while and then compared notes.

So, now I have been making a nusiance of myself lately. I follow her everywhere she goes. I even wait by the door of the rainmaker in the bathroom. How come she is allowed to go out in the rain and I am not?! It doesn't seem fair. And, there's plenty of rain outside to use, but she's a wimp and wants WARM rain.

Which brings me to another point, I have NOT been allowed to go out and make mud pies in over a week. It's always run, run, run, do my business and then run back in. No frolicking, no dancing in the mud, no having fun.

Right now, our mother is trying to make amends and fix some treats for us. Actually, I think we are going to be the test dogs for a recipe she is trying out. Next week, we have a party to go to for our flyball team. We will let you know later if it was edible.

Right now, I think I will go sit on her feet so she cannot go anywhere without ME! I am still very upset with her, and may have to bring it up with Katherine and Zorra that Mother again needs to be grounded.

Our absence.... explained and UNCOVERED.

Hello Bloggerland,

First, we must apologize for our unintended absence from our blog and our pals. Our mother has not relinquished her computer in quite some time due to her impossible employers. You see, this is the busiest time of year for our mother's job and, even though she works at home, she was tied to her desk and would not leave her computer from early in the morning until late in the evening.

The girls and I had to devise a plan. We had our general meeting of the day to review alternatives and plans on how to regain control of a computer. After all, we had missed Butchy and Snicker's skating party and all the camaraderie of our pals. Something had to be done, and quickly!

Zorra scratched and scratched her head to try to come up with an idea so we could blog and visit our friends. Unfortunately, she was not able to come up with a good, solid idea to regain control of the computer. She scratched her head and ear so much that she got a crick in her neck and her chin got stuck in that position. Eventually, she had to have her neck massaged so she could lower her head. Silly girl.

Katherine tried a different tactic to come up with an ingenious plan. She tried letting all the blood rush to her head. She normally can think of the most devious of plans. But, she only got a bit lightheaded for her efforts. I was more than willing to string her up by her toes, but she and Zorra outvoted me on that suggestion. (They wouldn't know a good idea if it came up and slapped them on their heads).

I felt that I would undoubtedly have to come up with a plan. I donned a disguise and went outside the house and looked in the office window where my mother was tapping away on the computer. Oh, my mother was oblivious. She could not see me at all in my stealth disguise as I peered over the window sill.



Katherine provided an excellent diversion by squeaking every toy she possibly could so our mother would not inadvertently look out the window (even though I was magnificently clad and no one could see me at all).

Zorra was worried that if we got caught in our espionage, that Santa Paws would not visit us so close to Christmas. Katherine assured her that Santa would NOT know, and everything would be ok. Zorra didn't seem to be too convinced. She was mumbling something about "Mommi being mad if we were up after bedtime." Oh PISH POSH. We need to BLOG!! I told her if she wasn't with us, she was against us and THAT would make Santa Paws mad. Oh, I did have a small twinge of remorse for telling her that garbage, but we are in desperate straits here!

AS I watched through the window, I saw our opening. I saw our mother YAWN! Ah, yes.... Mother doesn't sleep as much as we do. We will only need to wait for her to go to bed and fall asleep. I crept back into the house, unnoticed. Katherine, Zorra and I decided to get a few winks of sleep, but our sleep was fitful as we tried to slightly stay alert in case our mother yawned again and went to bed without our knowledge. Soon, it was very dark.

I decided to take the direct approach. "Oh Mother, the girls and I are certainly sleepy..... Mother, are you sleepy yet? You look sleepy. Look at me. Oh, I am soooo very, very tired. I think we ALL should go to bed now. Don't you, mother?" "You are looking a bit, shall we say, HORRID. YOU NEED SLEEP."

Look Mother, this is how you go to sleep. You lay down and shut your eyes. Seee.... Don't mind that we are staring at you. We just want you to close your eyes and relax. There's no need to worry. None, whatsoever. We are not up to anything. We are just concerned about your health and mental focus. We are being good puppies so that we can get pawsents from Santa Paws.


Soon, Zorra went and sat right next to Mother. Katherine laid down by her feet and our mother started getting very warm and yawning more and more. I think our plan may be working. Mother is starting to get tired. Then, we heard the magic words that normally spreads dread through our souls. "Kids, it is time for beddy-bye." I believe she was so tired that she did not even realize that we rushed to our beds and immediately laid down without any whining or sorry, unhappy looks.

Katherine and I sent Zorra in with our mother as a lookout. She will cry or moan if Mother gets up to come back to the computer. Then, Katherine and I flipped a coin over who would get the job of blogging this evening. And, well, I guess you know who won. Moi.

We do want to thank alllll our friends for the wonderful Christmas cards that we have received. They are all beautiful and we love each and every one. We certainly will try wrestle the computer more from our mother. After all, we are addicted and MUST BLOG.

Rain, Rain, Rain

Hello bloggers,

Sam here. It's been raining here for days. The rain has washed what little snow we had away. Now the backyard is nothing but a mud pit, and my mother will not let me go play in the mud. I'm quite distraught.



My mother doesn't seem to care that I am not having a good time. She's only thinking of herself, as she does not want to give me a bath prior to the weekend. Well, personally, I don't really see the need of bath. I would just be a little muddy. Many people pay a lot of money for mud treatments. I would be saving mother a lot of cash.

Wishen I asked her what difference it made regarding the weekend, she informed me that she and I were going to an agility trial! Of course, I am elated! Then, she told me it was a teacup trial. Now, I am not so happy. I'm not really in the mood for the enchantment that happened the last time I went to a teacup trial. I think my mother wants me to go mad! However, my girlfriend Maisie will be there and I'm sure everything will be right with the world.

Zorra and I went to the vet's the other day. It was only for our annual physical. Zorra's exam was fairly mundane. She simply cowered and whined until the vet said she was in good health.

I was anxious to talk to Dr. again. We had not spoken since last year. I waved at him, smiled and did a few tricks that I knew would amuse a man of his high intellect and felt things were going properly until he decided to take my temperature. I was rather aghast at how he took it! I didn't quite remember my temperature being taken THAT way. When he removed a thermometer from my bum, there was a large tape worm on the end. The doctor laughed and said he had not seen one quite that large. Of course, my mother was turning all sorts of shades of green and was horrified how I may have encountered this unwanted guest.

The doctor told her most likely I had eaten something in the backyard, such as a mouse, chipmunk, etc. Because, after all, I was a terrier and that is what we do. Oh, I remember the afternoon where I dined on a scrumptious tasty treat. Hmmmm obviously, the chef gave my portion to me a bit UNDERCOOKED. However, I will eat the raw treats again every chance I get.

After receiving the proper medication and forging my mother's signature on the charge card slip, I escorted her and Zorra out to our vehicle for the drive home. Girls... one little bug or tapeworm and they become quite the sissies!

Monday Madness

Hello Bloggerland,

I am a bit miffed at the girls in this house....

My mother, Katie and Zorra. It seems that the "girls" got to go places with my mother over the weekend, and I was not asked, or even allowed to participate! Therefore, I am starting my own branch of the original Our Gang club... the He-Man Woman Hater's Club.



On Saturday, my mother took Katherine to an agility seminar. Why she didn't take me is BEYOND comprehension. Everyone knows that I, Sam, am a MUCH better athlete and agility dog than Katherine. My goodness, has my mother gone MAD? Shall I call the authorities to come and cart her off??!!

Then, on Sunday, in the wee hours of the morning, mother and ZORRA (who is so feeling so much better) snuck out of the house and went to an agility tournament! Needless to say, I was flabberghasted! So, again.. I must say that I am a much better athlete and agility dog than Zorra. I refused to talk to anyone upon their returns.

Katherine, Zorra, and mother appeared not to even be phased at all by this lack of understanding on their part. They went on with their trivial little lives while I sulked.

Last evening, my mother put me on her lap, which I assumed was to beg for my forgiveness. Oh, how I put too much faith in that daft woman..... She started messing with my fur (which SHE messed up by taking me to the groomer. ANOTHER woman). She was saying how it was growing out nicely, blah blah blah.

I am going to think on my revenge.... They will never know what hit them. I will come up with a most devious plan, and of course, they being of feeble minds will not know that it was I.

Oh, I hear my mother calling me for treat time. I can't think of evil strategies now....... Oh. Peanut butter.

Sam the Pinkerton Man

Poor, dear, dim-witted Katherine, she believes our Mother left on her own and just got lost. I, being of superior intellect, know differently. Mother was abducted. She would never willingly leave ME here with the others, ALONE!

I am currently planning my search strategy. I will begin at daylight. I am certain I will find Mother, for I am a WFT.