Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Twilight Zone...... doo dee dooo doo

Good evening bloggerland....

I was away for the weekend with my mother, sans sisters (woo hoo). We arose at a very alarming hour on Saturday and my mother drug me from my nice, toasty bed with the promise of "having fun." I fell asleep shortly to the humm of the engine and tires.

When I awoke from my nap and went inside the building, I felt I had entered the TWILIGHT ZONE. I quickly looked around for other pups that I knew, but saw none. Then, I noticed it. All the dogs there were smaller than I! There were small crates and dog items everywhere. There were high pitched yips and howls. There were bouncing yorkies that kept jumping up to see over their X-pen. I looked for some order to this chaos. I looked up at my mother, and she seemed normal. She was conversing some drivel to a woman holding a bundle of fur in a pink blanket. I was not sure WHAT that was, but it had a scent of a dog (If I could trust my nose and senses, that is). This all seems so real, but it MUST be a dream!

My mother and I started our usual pre-run routine, and I shrugged off my uneasiness. I was trying to pay the appropriate amount of time paying attention to her, and would give the obligatory response (occasionally) so I could get my treat. When we went up to the start, I heard a man say "This is the only BIG DOG." Well, of course, I thought it was quite appropriate for him to say that I was a big dog, and waved at him with appreciation. Oh, how I loved that. Of course I am a BIG DOG! I am a WFT.

When we got out on the course, I KNEW I was in the twilight zone. All the obstacles had shrunk. (Normal size is on the left in the photos below).

I was so put off by this mad, mad dream that I refused to participate logically and ran around and around trying to wake myself up. I mean, everything was so small. I heard the judge say, "Oh, he's just confused, poor guy." Poor guy, my bum! I was trying to find my way out of this nightmare. Where was my tall A-frame that I can tower above my mother to look down upon her. This A-frame didn't even go to her shoulder!!! After each encounter into that enchanted agility ring, my mother would say encouraging words to me, and tell me we would try again. WHAT?! I don't ever want to go back. I tried to snap her out of this daze of hers but doing exactly opposite of what she asked or just running around. I even went up to the judge several times during the agility runs to beg her to take the spell off she had cast over me and my mother. It was for naught.

I tried to run away from the dream for well into the next day. Everything always seemed normal when we LEFT that building, but when we returned again today, I entered the TWILIGHT ZONE. And, it started again. Everyone was referring to me as the large dog, the great dane of the trial. Oh, I had just about had enough of these people and their torture. So, I thought about what would make my mother snap out of this zombie like state of hers. Surely, once she is again herself, she will notice that everything is way too small.

I thought, and thought, and thought, and then it hit me. I knew exactly what to do. Oh, I started out the course just like a few weeks ago by doing what my mother asked. Then, I got on the dogwalk. I promptly squatted right on the dogwalk (which the example of the dogwalk is similar to a bridge), dead center, and left everyone a small, smelly token of my appreciation of this nightmare. Ah HA. I heard my mother come out of her dazed state and say.. OH MY GOODNESS. I wasn't quite done with my donation, and I was flipped up with my bumm in the air. I heard a rouse of laughter from the audience and someone giving my mother some paper towels. She still seemed unfathomed by my actions, or the small equipment. In fact, I heard the judge say that she had NEVER seen any dog do that right in the middle of the dogwalk. The dogwalk, and I, were merely cleaned up and the trial went on.

I realized then that there was nothing I could do but just go with the flow. ON the last run of the day, I just went over to the dark side and actually completed the course and earned a qualifying score. My mother seemed happy with that, and I was hoping that she would just let us go home.

After further investigation on my part, I summized that we went to a Teacup Trial. When I heard my mother talking about this previously, I thought all the doggies were going to do some agility, then have a tea party! Oh, was I mistaken.

The word "teacup" was in reference to the size of the dogs! This entire event has completely worn me out, and I must rest before I can go on. I know that Katherine is QUITE upset that she stayed home today and I will probably have to pay in some form or the other, but I will relay my experiences to her and try to convince her that I now, have that power, too. That, I can shrink anything I want to, since I was at a teacup agility trial.....


Agatha and Archie said...

OMG!! We are rolling!! Right in the missle of the DOGWALK!! tee hee! Well......WHAT DID THEY EXPECT!! Imagine calling you a GREAT DANE!!! We think you were in the twilight zone!!!And we are very proud of you for making that DONATION!!!!!!! Love A+A

Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Hehehe! Well done Sam! I bet you were the star of the show, especially after your kind "donation"! J x