Again, long time no chatting from me. We have been extremely busy. We have been in the midst of agility trials, and FINALLY Mother came to her senses (what she has left of them) and remembered to send in MY entry. It is terribly frustrating that Mother always seemed to lose my entry, while Katherine's and Zorra's always made it into the envelope. I just contribute that to her senility. (Zorra here. MY comments are in red. I read this and needed to explain a few things that Sam seems to have stretched a bit.)
I primped the night before the first day of the trial. My mustache and goatee were perfect-o. I was really getting ready to see my one true love, Maizee. You may remember her from previous posts. (She cannot stand him. She really doesn't like him). I had heard through reliable sources that, she too, would be there competing. I thought I was quite the dashing young lad. My skills had been honed and I was ready to compete. I could not wait! (What a loser. He normally looks like this:)
However, Katherine got to go first. Age before beauty, as they say. There she is jumping through the tire. Oh, I suppose you could be impressed, but I knew most everyone at the trial (and especially Maizee, I hope) was really waiting for ME. After all, I am the mere picture of canine perfection.
I sat quietly meditating in my crate. (No he wasn't he was barking like a crazy dog. Auntie kept telling him to be quiet. He was soooooooo annoying).
I was ready to go, when Mother returned and said it was Zorra's turn. WHAT? How can that be?? (Because I am better than you, dogbreath). I watched Zorra zip and turn over jumps, tunnels, and teeters. I shouted out words of encouragement showing brotherly love. (No you didn't you were trash talking both Katie and me the entire time).
Finally, it was my turn. If only you, my friends, had been there. You would surely be amazed at my athleticism. I am sure that there has never been a dog as fine as I that day. I jumped, I lept, I climbed, I went through chutes, tunnels. I darted and dashed. Mother was so amazed at how well I did that she stood in the middle of the course speechless. (She was speechless, all right. She was amzed that you got some things right!!)
Everyone cheered me on. Oh, to bask in one's adoring fans admiration is something that cannot be described adequately. (OH brother, and I don't mean Sam). Mother was quite impressed with my actions and allowed me to continue competing for the entire weekend.
All were very impressed with my skills, and I assume Maizee was as well, as we were forced apart by stupid hoomans. Maizee sat on the other side of the trial site and I could not whisper sweet thoughts into her ear. (No one separated them. Mommi and Maizee's mom just didn't sit next to each other this time. What a whiner).
I was competing in the last run of the trial. I started out showing how handsome I looked flying over jumps, when all of the sudden, I got pee mail. Someone sent me a telegram right there on the course. I stopped to sniff it out. Mother was starting to turn various stages of red and purple by this point. She was insisting that I finish the course and leave ".... what ever you are sniffing... LEAVE IT). Well, as you all know my good friends, one cannot leave important pee mail. It needed an immediate response. So, I lifted my leg in response and.....
(He was dismissed from the ring BOL. Mommi was M-A-D. BOL.)